New Life, New Sacrifices

i was a 19 year-old IT major senior in a 3rd class academy. i had a lot of friends. i was the editor of the academy’s magazine AND newspaper, an actor in the Theater Team and also queen bee of aspiring socialites.
we had a beautiful “permanent” house with the this big green landscape and wide lawn space that i loved lying on in the winter under the occasional sun. we had a dog and her 5 puppies. we had a female cat and a male kitten.
i had my own room that had the country-styled-furniture and wall decorations that i spent hours making so it would look more like me.
i had a lot of things, a lot of people, and a lot of people had me in their lives. everything is gone now. everything has changed.
our “permanent house” became a summer house, we’re moving to another country. we practicaly are already moved. in less than 12 hours from now i’ll be on my way to the airport to fly home for the last time for months to come so i could finish my transfer papers. i’ll be officially a “Delmon Uni” student instead of a “KMA” student. i never even imagined my life could be better and worst all at the same time.
KMA was, is and forever will be a 3rd grade academy whose teacher’s pet is the student who bribes, gifts and helps out more than the others. IT is a major i took when my Dream Major got out of reach. our house was a total mess that we spent a 4 year’s amount of money, time and effort trying to make it classy, chic and homey. and we did succeed. going to Egypt in the first place was because of a financial dilemma. but we got back up. the past 8 or 9 years were like a war and we won. i gained more than i lost ,though. and i am proud. except for the game that made me give up my Life in Alexandria, Egypt. my family was ready to move back to KSA, they loved their lives here and the last and final vote was mine, and i stuck with my word: “I want to stay in Alexandria, it’s my home!”. Till i got in too deep with drama, blackmail and gossip. i put my self on the line, with people, too much. i fell down hard, got up only to fall harder and stand stronger and i gambled with more than i can afford and each time i gained a lot more than i expected.. till i broke down and lost. no one could see how much i lost but me, because no one knew the game and it’s rules but me. i hated my life, the people, the game, the academy and even my self. i cut myself away from all that i gained, from friends and loved ones so at least i could take it all in, process it then start my senior year prepared for whats next. and it was a perfect timing ‘cause we were visiting my father in KSA.
while i was hiding, doors opened to me again. new country, new people, new college with my Dream Major: Interior Design and a new me that no one knows. it’s a chance any of the people I’m leaving back there would dream of. it’s a chance to learn from the past and head on to the future. i know that no one can run from their past and who they really are but it’s worth trying. a fresh start. a new book to write. a new me, improved. no more lies, drama, gossip or even love triangles with the same two basic players but a new third one every time.
now that I’ve come this far, I’m getting cold feet. wanting to face the hell i left back there rather than face what’s unknown. but i have to stay focused on what i planned, don’t i? all i have to say after all this is that when God closes a door, he opens a window. a window is not as perfect as the door -or easier to get through- but it’s an opportunity to fix what happened or to continue a path in life. we just have to be thankful for it. who knows? maybe another door will open up, someday!